When push comes to shove . . .

Went to a great Memorial Day weekend cookout yesterday. Surrounded by people who love me, no matter what. My sister and her husband, and her husband's family - who have "adopted" me as their own.

Home around 11:30pm - not too horrible. Take my nightly muscle relaxant so that I don't clench my jaw so tight during the night, that I can't get it open the next day.

Awakened around 2am by husband handing me his cell phone - "Here - SHE wants to talk to YOU." SHE being our 18 year old who was staying at a friend's house for the night.

She is sick; been throwing up since midnight. She thinks she is throwing up blood, and she has a terrible migraine. She wants me to come get her across the city.

I hang up with her, and start throwing on clothes, and looking for my glasses (I'm blind as a bat!). As I'm dressing, I stop, and say "FUCK - I just took my muscle relaxant at midnight!!!". Absolutely no response from her father - other than him rolling over in bed.

For the past month or so, he has been playing the "good father". And I am therefore the "bad mother" in comparison. He has been the one who has grocery shopped, cooked dinner every night, driven the 17 year old to school each day, etc. My participation in the family has been invisible, for lack of a better word. I'm the one working two jobs, doing all of the laundry, cleaning the house (sometimes), taxes, bills, FASFA's, etc. My "duties" are invisible. It is fine when two people are in a partnership. Not so great when they aren't.

Back to the present - I start driving to find her at 2:10am. I am totally directionally challenged. Even though I have been to her friend's house several times, I can't for the life of me remember where it is. Especially under the influence of muscle relaxants. I call her on her cell, and she talks me through it. I find her, and I get her home. I make her a ginger ale, take her temperature, coax her into eating an apple sauce, and get some Excedrin into her (no better pill out there for migraines). Turns out that the "blood" she was puking was strawberry daiquiri's. And the migraine was triggered by a visit to a Huka bar. She is so NOT a partier. She was fine once the pills kicked in..

I get into bed a little after 3am. I'm shaking at this point; combination of the meds, lack of sleep, adrenaline, and too much gardening over the past two days. He wants to know why in the world I am so angry with him. WTF? He's kidding, right? I tell him, and he still doesn't get it.

When push comes to shove, I hope they will know who is the one there for them. Forever. That is all I can ever hope for - that they know.